


Always and All Ways

by blk0912



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Barson, Barsonoah, F/M, Rollisi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:53:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28111203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blk0912/pseuds/blk0912
Summary: A collection of shorter barson fics. All stand-alone fics unless stated otherwise.
Relationships: Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr./Amanda Rollins, Lucia Barba & Rafael Barba, Noah Porter Benson & Olivia Benson, Rafael Barba & Catalina Diaz, Rafael Barba & Noah Porter Benson, Rafael Barba/Olivia Benson
Comments: 17
Kudos: 73





	1. Moving Abuelita

**Author's Note:**

> I've had a few fics in the works for a while that I just can't seem to finish, so after much deliberation, I decided to go ahead and make my own collection of fics and post them here. 
> 
> Special thanks to my Spanish translator/helper, Sandra. 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy!

* * *

Walking into the 16th precinct, Dodds raised an eyebrow at the two detectives currently busy decorating a nearby tree, but said nothing to them. When he heard Nick talking to Fin about the sergeant’s exam, he frowned, thinking the younger man must know he wouldn’t be considered for such a position. 

“Lieutenant, do you always leave your detectives unsupervised?” he asked as he walked into Olivia’s office.

Olivia looked over at her fiancé, exchanging a confused look with him before turning back to the deputy chief. “They’re all adults, Chief, and I trust them. It’s a little slow right now and it’s been a rough couple of weeks. I thought we could all do with some Christmas cheer. Carisi and Rollins are both aware that they could be called away at any moment. Fin is more than capable of supervising the goings-on of the squad room while Rafael and I go over a case.”

Dodds looked a little surprised at her answer, but quickly recovered and closed her door before speaking again. “Is Amaro planning on taking the sergeant’s exam?”

This time Rafael spoke up in defense of his friend. “He’d make an excellent sergeant for Liv, he always has her back, but for your information, he’s trying to convince  _ Fin _ to take it. His theory is if Fin realizes that he already knows the information and essentially functions in that role now, he’ll agree to take the exam.”

Dodds briefly looked a little embarrassed, but quickly recovered while Rafael resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He’d gotten into a disagreement with his  _ abuelita _ the night before about moving her out of her apartment and it was bothering him, he wasn’t in the mood to deal with Dodds and his assumptions. 

“Rafael is right,” Olivia confirmed. “About both things. But I assume you didn’t come here to lecture me about my squad?”

“No. I wanted to get updates about the latest cases. I was going to have you call ADA Barba, but as he’s already here, that saves time.”

“Lucky me,” Rafael muttered, hiding his smirk when Olivia shot him a look that clearly told him she’d heard what he said.

* * *

After walking Dodds out of the precinct, Olivia returned to her office and saw Rafael was on the phone. He was speaking in Spanish, which generally meant he was talking to one of three people-his mother, his grandmother, or his childhood friend, Eddie. She quickly determined it was his mother and that his grandmother was still upset with them both for even  _ suggesting _ she move out of her apartment. Not wanting to intrude, although he knew she understood every word he was saying, she began to attack her pile of paperwork. 

“Liv?”

Olivia looked up at the sound of Rafael saying her name.

“Mami wants to go back over to  _ Abuelita’s _ tonight. Do you need to pick up Noah or could you come with me? I think it would do her good to see you.”

“We could bring Noah, if that’s okay? He’s been asking for  _ Abuela Cati _ .”

Rafael smiled and nodded, then went back to his conversation with his mother. 

* * *

“See  _ Abuela Cati _ now?” Noah asked, laying his head on Rafael’s shoulder as the older man began to walk up the steps of Catalina’s building.

“ _ Sí, mijo _ ,” Rafael replied, pressing a kiss to his forehead and sharing a smile with Olivia. 

Noah had quickly attached himself to both Lucia and Catalina when they’d been introduced the previous year. He loved his  _ Abuelita _ and  _ Abuela Cati _ very much. The fact that they both spoiled him and lavished him with attention didn’t hurt, either. 

Both women were crazy about the little boy and Olivia was glad he had them in his life. She swore she saw them both wiping away tears the first time they saw Noah and Rafael together, too.

* * *

“Mama, look who’s here to see you,” Lucia said with a smile as she let Rafael, Olivia, and Noah into her mother’s apartment.

Catalina stood and walked over to her grandson and his family. Her eyes immediately fell on the ring that now adorned Olivia’s finger. 

“Rafi,  _ nieto _ . ¡¿ _ Por qué no me dijiste que le propusiste matrimonio _ ?!” she said as she took the younger woman’s hand and admired the ring that she now wore. 

Rafael rolled his eyes. “ _ Porque sucedió de pronto la otra noche. _ ”

“¡ _ No me tuerzas los ojos chiquito _ !”

Rafel sighed, but was quickly distracted by his son. “Daddy, hungry.”

“ _ Mijo _ , you had a snack on the way here,” Rafel said. 

“Still hungry,” Noah replied. 

“Come with me,  _ nieto _ ,” Lucia said, taking her grandson into her arms. “I think  _ Abuela Cati _ has some fruit in the fridge you can have.”

“I like fruit.”

Lucia laughed softly and then pressed a kiss to the side of his head. “Oh, I know.”

* * *

“Livy,  _ nieta _ , how are you doing?” Catalina asked as she and Olivia sat together on the couch. “Rafi said you got a promotion.”

“Good,” Olivia replied with a smile. “And yes, I did. One of my detectives is trying to convince another one to take the sergeant’s exam and be my second-in-command.”

“Will it work?”

“I hope so. I trust them all, but Fin and I have worked together for a long time and he’s one of my closest friends. Someone I trust completely.”

Catalina patted Olivia’s leg and smiled at her. “Well, I hope you get your way.”

“How are  _ you  _ doing, Cati?” Olivia asked, placing her hand over the older woman’s.

Catalina sighed. “I don’t like arguing with Rafi.”

Olivia nodded in understanding. “You know he only wants what’s best for you. He loves you so much.”

“I’ve lived here for so long. This is where I lived with Rafi’s  _ abuelito _ before he passed.”

“I know, but none of us want something to happen to you again and no one be there to help you. Rafa worries so much about you.”

“I don’t like any of the places we’ve looked at.  _ Estos lugares son muy aburridos, muy sosos. Sin gracia _ .”

“So we’ll keep looking. We could do some research online after dinner. I’ll help you.”

“I want to stay here.”

Olivia squeezed Catalina’s hand. “I know, but that’s unfortunately not an option. Maybe we can find you a place close to Rafa’s and mine? Then you can see Noah more often.”

Catalina’s eyes lit up at the sound of her great-grandson’s name. “I’d like that.”

“You could see us all more that way. We could take pictures before we pack everything up? So you have something to remember this place by? I know moving is hard, but we want you around as long as we can have you.”

Catalina smiled and nodded. “I want to see you and Rafi get married.”

“You and Luci will have front row seats at the wedding,” Olivia promised. “You know, it means so much to wear your ring. Rafa has told me all about you and his  _ abuelito _ .”

Catalina’s smile grew at the thought of her husband. “He was the love of my life. He’d be so proud of our Rafi.”

Olivia looked over to where Rafael and Lucia were talking as Noah sat on the latter’s lap and snacked on some fruit. “He’s amazing. A pain in my side sometimes, but amazing.”

Catalina laughed. “Keeping each other on your toes is half the fun,  _ nieta _ .”

* * *

After supper, Lucia took Noah into the living room to play while Olivia and Rafael helped Catalina look into some more places to live. 

“What about this one,  _ Abuelita _ ?” Rafael asked, pointing to the place Olivia had pulled up on the screen.

Catalina looked over the information. It was close to both Rafael and Lucia, and offered different levels of care depending on the resident’s needs and wants. 

“Look, this one has a small kitchen,” Olivia said, pointing at the picture on the screen. “So you could still cook if you want.”

Catalina smiled and then turned to her grandson. “I’d like to go see this one.”

Rafael put the number in his phone. “I’ll call in the morning to get some details.”

“There’s one more I wanted to show you, but then we can stop looking for the night,” Olivia said.

“Okay,” Catalina agreed, feeling better about the move. She still wasn’t thrilled with the idea, but having a say in where she would move to instead having it chosen for her was making her feel better. 

* * *

Listening to Catalina tell Noah a story about Rafael when he was little, Olivia laid her head on his shoulder as she smiled. Rafael’s mother and grandmother had accepted her and Noah right away and she felt glad that she had been able to help Catalina in her search for a new place to live. 

“You okay?” she heard Rafael ask before pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

“Just really happy,” she replied, reaching for his hand and lacing their fingers together. “Is this a preview of what Christmas morning is going to be like?’

Rafael chuckled. “Most likely. Except with presents and wrapping paper.”

“And coffee.”

“Of course. And  _ pastelitos _ .”

“Mm. Sounds perfect.”

* * *

A couple of days later, Olivia and Rafael met Lucia and Catalina at the assisted living facility that they had decided was their first choice. 

“This unit is similar to the one posted on our website,” the manager, Moira, was saying. “It’s a one bedroom, one bath with a small kitchen and in-unit laundry. We have a local company that we work with for grocery delivery if residents don’t want to go out themselves. Family is welcome to take them out as well, but we prefer they don’t go on their own.”

“Are they allowed to paint the rooms?” Olivia asked as Rafael and Catalina walked to the back of the unit to look at the bedroom and bathroom.

“For a small fee. Our maintenance staff does most of the painting here, but you are more than welcome to hire someone or do it yourselves.”

“Are the more independent residents still checked on occasionally?” Lucia wondered.

Moira nodded. “Daily. Just a quick check to see how they’re doing and if they need help with anything. We can also have someone assist with their medication. It all depends on the individual’s needs.”

* * *

“What do you think,  _ Abuelita _ ?” Rafael asked, trying to gauge how his grandmother was feeling. 

“It’s similar to my apartment,” Catalina replied as she continued looking around. “I want  _ my _ furniture, though.”

“I’m sure that can be arranged.”

“I need to be sure, Rafi.”

Rafael bent and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “I’ll go ask, you keep looking.”

Catalina smiled and nodded. A couple of minutes later, when she looked back in the direction he’d walked, her smile grew when she saw him standing with his arm around Olivia. 

“What are you so smiley about?” Lucia teased as she approached.

“Seeing our Rafi so happy makes  _ me _ happy,” Catalina answered.

“I know you don’t want to move, Mama, but it’s time.”

Catalina sighed. “I  _ would _ like to see Rafi more, though. He worries too much.”

“He just wants to make sure those he loves are taken care of.”

“Your papi was the same way.”

Lucia smiled a little sadly at the thought of her father. She missed him every day, but was confident she would see him again someday and that he was watching over all of them.


	2. Simply the Best

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the help of a friend, Rafael surprises Liv after their video call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one includes Rollisi but the main focus is still Barson. 
> 
> I've had this written for a while, but haven't been able to expand on it and it kind of felt like it was finished as is, so now that I have this collection, I decided to post it.
> 
> As always, hope you all enjoy (and comments fuel the muse ;) )

* * *

"Are you sure about this?"

Rafael looked over at his friend and nodded. "I want to surprise her."

"Okay, but  _ Iowa _ , Barba? Really?"

Rafael chuckled and shrugged. "It's not a complete lie. I  _ am _ working in election fraud...just not at the national level."

"Well, at least she's not my boss anymore so she can't put me on desk duty or anythin'"

"Really, Carisi, I thought you could stand up to Liv now."

Sonny rolled his eyes. "I  _ can _ , but she can still be scary when she's mad. Amanda is already going to be upset that I kept this from her."

"I couldn't risk Liv finding out. You know how close those two are. Fin is the only other person who knows."

Sonny sighed as Rafael started up the laptop. "If anyone asks, this was all  _ your  _ idea."

Rafael waved him off. "Fine, fine. Now go take Rollins out so I can call Liv."

"I don't have plans with her."

"Then make them. Ask her out, Carisi."

"Are  _ you _ going to ask  _ Liv _ out?"

"Something like that," Rafael replied with a shrug. "Here's hoping she says yes."

"She will. We can all see how much she misses you. Even if she refuses to admit it. I know you two kept in touch, but not having your best friend by your side? It's not fun."

"Speaking from experience?"

Sonny stuck his hands in his pockets and shrugged. "Rollins and I had a pretty big fight a few weeks back. Things haven't been the same since."

"All the more reason to make plans with her."

Sonny turned to leave and then stopped to look back at his friend. "This place, and the DA's office, they're not the same without you, you know. You should really consider McCoy's offer. I know Lu would love to have you back on the team. So would the rest of us."

Rafael nodded. "I'll keep that in mind."

* * *

After her video call with Rafael, Olivia pulled out a picture of the two of them that she kept in her desk drawer. 

They were sitting together at Forlini's and sharing a plate of appetizers. It hadn't been a good day for her, and she tried to get out of going out with the squad, but he had insisted that if  _ his  _ presence was required, then so was hers. He'd spent the night making sure she had a good time. He'd gotten her to smile and laugh so hard her stomach hurt. 

"I miss you, Rafa," she said as she ran her fingers over the picture. 

"I missed you, too, Liv."

Olivia looked up and did a double take. Rafael was  _ here _ . In her doorway. His coat over his arm, briefcase held in one hand, and smirk on his face as he leaned against the doorframe. It was as if he'd never left. 

"Rafa?" She asked tentatively as she stood.

"Yeah, Liv, I'm here."

Olivia quickened her steps until she reached him and pulled him into a tight hug. "Please tell me you're not leaving again."

Rafael returned her embrace, wrapping his arms tightly around her waist. "I'm back for good."

"You better be. We’re supposed to be squabbling at 85, remember?”

“I remember,” Rafael said softly. “I wasn’t sure if it was something you still wanted, though.”

Olivia pulled back and looked at him in confusion. “Why  _ wouldn’t _ I?”

“The way I left…”

“You already apologized for that. I already told you that I forgive you. I was just happy to hear from you again. I got so used to having you by my side.”

“Me, too,” Rafael confessed. 

“Did you mean what you said about dinner?”

“That it’s on me?”

Olivia nodded.

“I’m going to repeat your earlier question: Why  _ wouldn’t _ I?”

“It sounded an awful lot like a  _ date _ .”

“What if that’s what I want, what I meant?”

“Then I’d say you owe me dinner,” Olivia answered with a smile. 

“Do you have to get home to Noah?”

“He’s at a friend’s house tonight.”

“How about dinner, then?”

“I’d love to. Forlini’s?”

“If that’s what you want.”

“I’ve been craving their club sandwich pretty much all day.”

Rafael chuckled and pressed a kiss to her temple. “Forlini’s it is, then. Are you ready to go?”

“I just need to grab my things,” Olivia replied, reluctantly stepping out of Rafael’s embrace. 

* * *

As she reached for Rafael’s hand, Olivia heard a familiar voice calling her name.

“Captain, a word?” Garland asked as he walked into her office. When he saw Rafael, he smiled apologetically at Olivia. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you had plans.”

Olivia smiled and shrugged. “They were very last minute,” she said before turning to Rafael. “Do you mind waiting?”

Rafael shook his head and gave her hand a squeeze before releasing it. “I’ll just be outside,” he assured her.

“Friend of yours?” Garland asked once the door was shut.

“My best friend. The best partner I’ve ever had.”

“He’s a former partner of yours?”

Olivia shrugged. “In a way. He was SVU’s ADA for six years.”

“ADA Barba?”

“The one and only.”

“I won’t keep you long, then. I’m going to be away at a meeting the rest of the week so I wanted to check in with you before I left.”

* * *

A short while later, Rafael looked up from his phone when he heard the door to Olivia’s office open. He smiled when Olivia walked over to him and placed her hand on his arm.

“Rafa, this is our new deputy chief, Christian Garland. Chief, this is SVU’s best ADA, Rafael Barba.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Barba,” Garland said, holding out his hand.

Rafael shook the other man’s hand and gave him a small nod. “Likewise.”

“Are you still practicing law?”

“I am.”

“I’m glad to hear it. I’ve heard good things about you, Mr. Barba.”

“Liv exaggerates.”

Olivia lightly hit him on the arm. “I do not. I’ll get the squad to back me up. Even call Nick.”

Rafael rolled his eyes at her and then took her hand. “Come on, Liv, I’m starving.” Turning to Garland, he nodded again. “It really was nice to meet you.”

“Goodnight, Chief,” Olivia said as Rafael led her out of the squadroom. 

Garland smiled as he watched them. Best friends seemed to be an understatement for the chemistry they clearly had together. He knew the last few weeks had been difficult for his new friend, so he was happy to see her smiling. 

* * *

“Sonny, what are you doing here?”

Sonny shrugged and held up the grocery bags he held in his hands. “I thought I could cook for you and the girls.”

Amanda smiled at him gratefully as she stepped back to let him in. “I was about to order food, but your cooking sounds much more appetizing.”

Sonny chuckled and then walked into the kitchen. He was surprised when Amanda began to unpack everything. 

“Go greet the girls. They’ll never forgive me if I don’t tell them you’re here,” she told him. 

* * *

“There are two of my favorite girls!”

Jesse and Billie looked up from their activities and grinned when they saw their favorite surrogate uncle. 

“Uncle Sonny!” Jesse gasped excitedly as she and Billie quickly made their way over to hug him.

“I missed you both, too,” Sonny said with a laugh as he returned their hugs.

“Will you make us spaghetti?” 

Sonny chuckled and pressed a kiss first to her forehead, then Billie’s. “Yes. But you have to be good for your Mama while I cook, okay?”

Both girls nodded. Sonny smiled at them as he stood. 

“I see how it is,” Amanda teased as she entered the room. “You hug my girls but not me.”

Sonny laughed and walked over to wrap his arms around her. “I’d never forget you, Manda.”

Amanda playfully rolled her eyes at him as she made a show of pushing him away and then turning him towards the kitchen. “Enough hugging. You have cooking to do.”


	3. Need to Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amanda decides to take matters regarding Olivia and Rafael into her own hands...and gets a surprise in return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably the last update for this collection that there will be for a while. I don't think I have anything else written that I can post here and I want to get a few other things updated/finished. 
> 
> hope you all enjoy!

Walking through the local toy store with Amanda, Olivia absent-mindedly looked through the toys. She was hoping something would jump out at her-either for Noah or Jesse, but so far hadn’t had any luck. The Christmas music playing throughout the store only reminded her that it had been nearly a year since she’d last seen her best friend. They had kept in touch, but the phone calls and texts were becoming less frequent as time went on. 

“Liv, you okay?” Amanda asked, placing a hand on her friend’s arm. 

“Sorry, lost in my thoughts,” Olivia replied with a small laugh. She didn’t want to let on how much she, and Noah, just wanted Rafael with them. She had contemplated inviting him over the previous year, but ended up just sending him a text with a picture of Noah holding the gift he’d gotten him-a lego set that still sat incomplete in the little boy’s room. 

“You’re thinking about Barba, aren’t you?”

Olivia sighed. “Am I that obvious?”

Amanda smiled sympathetically. “Only to those who know you best. Have you talked to him lately?”

“Last week.”

“Is he plannin’ on comin’ back for the holidays?”

Olivia shrugged as she followed her friend further down the aisle. “He didn’t say. He only had a few minutes before his flight started to board.”

“Ya’ll used to talk all the time,” Amanda commented, picking up a toy that Jesse had on her list. 

“I thought he’d always be here and I guess I took it for granted.”

Amanda nodded. She understood that sentiment. Ever since Sonny passed the bar exam, she felt like she was just waiting for him to announce he was leaving the NYPD and taking a job as a lawyer-either with the DA’s office or a local firm specializing in another area of law. He kept telling her he was happy where he was, but she wasn’t sure she believed him. Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, she grabbed another toy off the shelf and handed it to her friend.

“Here, you can get this one for Jesse. It’s at the top of her list.”

“You sure  _ you _ don’t want to get it for her? Or Sonny hasn’t already gotten it?”

“I forbade him from getting it. He gets her enough stuff as it is. I swear every time he comes over, he has something for her.”

“You’re going to need a bigger apartment soon,” Olivia joked. 

“Don’t even put that out there,” Amanda replied with a laugh. 

* * *

A few days later, Amanda called Fin, and instructed him to bring Rita with him, over to her apartment so she could tell them her plan.

“So, what was so important that we  _ both _ had to be here?”

Amanda shot the defense attorney a glare before turning to her sergeant. “We need to get Barba back here. By the time of the Christmas party.”

“What do ya want me to do, kidnap ‘im?” Fin asked. 

Amanda shrugged. “If that’s what it takes,” she said before turning back to Rita. “I know you know where he is.”

“Just tell me where and when, and I’ll make it happen,” Fin told her. 

Rita held up her hand. “As much as I know how much you enjoy  _ convincing _ people to do what you want, that won’t be necessary. He’s in New York.”

“ _ Where _ in New York?” Amanda pressed.

“His apartment.”

“You mean to tell me he’s been  _ here _ this entire time?!” 

“Just since yesterday. He asked me not to tell Olivia.”

“Why the hell not?!”

Rita sighed and shrugged. “Beats me. I stopped trying to understand his thought process years ago.”

“Well, is he plannin’ on stayin’ this time?”

“He wouldn’t tell me. He’s been annoyingly secretive about his plans. Not even his mother knows exactly what they are.”

“Ya’ll are useless,” Amanda said, throwing her hands up in the air in frustration.”I’m going to handle this myself.”

“Give him hell,” Rita encouraged, eliciting an eye-roll from Fin. 

“Just get ‘im back here,” he said. “I’m tired of seein’ Liv mopin’ about. She thinks she’s doin’ a good job of hidin’ it, but she ain’t.” 

“Got it, boss,” Amanda replied cheerfully.

* * *

Standing outside Rafael’s door, Amanda took the piece of paper Rita had given her out of her pocket and double-checked the apartment number. After quickly going through her plan one more time in her head, she raised her hand and knocked on the door. Rafael answered not long after, dressed in sweatpants and a Harvard t-shirt and looking surprised to see her.

“Rollins, what can I do for you?”

“I need to talk to you about Liv and Noah..”

Knowing where this conversation was heading, and that the blonde detective wouldn’t let it go until she’d said her piece, Rafael stepped back to let her inside.

“You know you broke Liv’s heart when you left,” Amanda began once the door was shut.

Rafael sighed as he shoved his hands in his pockets. “I broke my own, too. I knew it would and I did it anyway.”

“Why the hell would you do somethin’ as  _ idiotic _ as that?!”

“She deserved better. More than I could give her.”

Amanda rolled her eyes. “Did it ever occur to you that all she wants is  _ you _ ? That you were not only breaking  _ Liv’s _ heart, but  _ Noah’s _ , too? Believe it or not, counselor, that kid  _ adored _ you. Do you know what I heard him say to Eddie last week when he thought no one was listening?!”

“Obviously not, but I’m sure you’re going to tell me.”

Ignoring the smart remark, Amanda continued. “He told him that he was hoping  _ you _ would be his dad someday, that  _ you _ were the only one he wanted for his dad. Because you make his mom smile and laugh more, because he  _ loves _ you and he thought you loved him and his mom, too. 

But then you left and you’ve been gone a long time and he’s not sure if you’re comin’ back or if you just decided you didn’t want to be with them anymore. He’s not sure if  _ he _ did somethin’ wrong. I saw him disassemblin’ a partially-constructed Lego set, too..”

“I...” Rafael began to argue, stopping when Amanda held up her hand.

“I’m not finished,” she said. “I know all about thinkin’ the person you have feelin’s for doesn’t feel the same way, that you’re not  _ worthy _ of them somehow, that you’re foolin’ yourself or only settin’ yourself up for heartbreak. Underneath those fancy suits is still the poor kid from the Bronx whose father beat up on him and his mom for years. 

I’m a detective for a unit I always wanted to work for, in a city I always dreamed of livin’ in, I have a bachelor’s degree in forensic science, the only one in my family to go to college, yet sometimes I  _ still _ feel like that little girl from Georgia who could only  _ dream _ of this life.”

Rafael raised an eyebrow at her. “And yet you haven’t done anything about said feelings you claim to understand. So why are you standing here lecturing me?”

“Because people I care about are hurting! If you hadn’t already been in New York, I was goin’ to have Fin  _ bring _ you back! Do you want Olivia and Noah or  _ not _ ?!”

“Of course I do!” Rafael shot back. “I have for a long time!”

“Then  _ do  _ somethin’ about it!”

Before Rafael could answer, he felt arms wrap around his waist from behind and a chin rest on his shoulder. Smirking at Amanda, he placed a hand on the arm of the person standing behind him. 

“You....already talked to Liv…” Amanda said, looking between her boss and the former ADA. 

“I did,” Rafael confirmed. “I asked Rita not to tell her I was back because  _ I _ wanted to tell her.”

“I told him that I would forgive him for everything if he promised to never leave us again,” Olivia added. 

“Oh.”

“Noah and I are moving in with Rafael. His place is bigger and has better security. We’re a family now.”

“I get the feeling there’s more.”

“There is,” Rafael confirmed. Turning to Olivia, he pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Do you want to tell her,  _ mi vida _ ?”

Olivia smiled and nodded, then turned her attention back to her friend. “We got married and Rafa adopted Noah.”

“All of this within a few  _ days _ ?”

“Noah and I weren’t going to let him get away again. I’m taking a few days while we move and get settled. I just spoke to Fin, and he said he will handle things at work.”

“How much of our conversation did you hear?”

“All of it. I think you should tell Sonny how you feel, Amanda.”

“I don’t know...what if he doesn’t feel the same and I ruin our friendship?”

“That man adores you,” Rafael told her. “And he probably has the same fear. I did, too. I’ve loved Liv for years, but I couldn’t stand the thought of her  _ not _ being in my life, so I convinced myself to accept what I could get and not ask for more. I was wrong.”

Amanda smiled a little at his words. “That’s not a phrase I’ve heard you say very often.”

“And I’ll deny it if you tell anyone.”

“These last few days with Rafa and Noah have been incredible,” Olivia added. “Rafa is still my best friend, but now we get to share our lives together...and I’ve never been happier.”


	4. Buy You a Drink?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia realizes the man asking to buy her a drink isn't the one she wants it to be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I found another story that I started and haven't been able to finish. Since the next chapter of Trivia Night isn't finished yet, I figured I'd publish this before I forgot 😂
> 
> Hope you all enjoy!

* * *

After she had finished talking to Tucker about Nick, Olivia was surprised by his next words.

“Buy you a drink?”

Olivia opened her mouth to respond, but closed it when she realized it was  _ Rafael’s _ voice she was hearing, not Tucker’s. All those times he’d asked her out for a drink.  _ He was asking her out _ . He’d been giving her an opportunity to get what she’d wanted since the moment they met- _ him _ . 

“Olivia?” Tucker prompted.

“I, um, I’m sorry, I can’t. I’m supposed to meet someone,” she stammered out before gaining her composure. “Get me Nick Amaro back. Understood?”   
Tucker nodded, still slightly confused as he watched her turn on her heel and quickly exit the bar.

* * *

Rushing into Forlini’s, Olivia was worried when she didn’t see Rafael sitting in his normal spot at the bar. She had called Lucy on the way, making sure she was okay to stay with Noah. The girl had told her Noah was already asleep, so she was taking advantage of the quiet to do some reading for school. Reassured that Lucy was okay to stay with Noah, she had made her way to Forlini’s as quickly as possible, hoping to catch her friend. 

“He got take-out and went home,” Anthony said when he saw her looking around. “Didn’t seem like himself.”

“Thanks,” Olivia replied, immediately rushing back out the door and hailing a cab to Rafael’s apartment.

* * *

Sitting in his empty apartment, Rafael sighed as he clicked through the pictures Carisi had sent him from the previous weekend’s squad night out. He stopped on one picture in particular-he and Olivia were looking at each other as they laughed. Amanda had been scolding Sonny for something and Fin had added his own smart remark, which had caused him and Olivia to look at each other before they both had begun to laugh. He was brought out of his thoughts by the sound of a knock at the door. Setting his laptop on the table, he stood and padded over to the door. 

“Liv? Is everything okay?” he asked, noticing the slightly distressed look on her face. 

Instead of answering, Olivia stepped forward and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. After pushing the door shut, he wrapped his arms around her in return. 

“Liv?” He tried again.

“I’m sorry. I’m  _ so _ sorry.”

Rafael pulled back so he could look at her, resting his hands on her hips. “What could you possibly have to be sorry for?”

“For turning you down all those times. I didn’t realize what you were asking. I’m  _ so _ sorry, Rafa.”

“You’re going to have to be a bit more specific for me, Liv.”

Olivia raised her hands to frame his face. “Rafael, have you been trying to  _ ask me out _ ?”

“Badly, apparently,” Rafael replied with a small nod and half-smile. “You’ve always been able to read me so well...part of me thought maybe you weren’t interested and just didn’t want to hurt my feelings…but another part couldn’t help but continue to ask, hoping one day you’d say yes.”

“Consider this my  _ yes _ ,” Olivia said as she leaned forward to press her lips to his. 

Rafael slid his arms around her waist to pull her close as he returned the kiss. 

“Livia,” he whispered when they broke apart, resting his forehead against hers.

“Rafa,” Olivia replied. 

“Can you stay for a while?”

“Yes.”

Rafael gave her another quick kiss before taking her hand and leading her over to the couch. When she curled herself into his side, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders to keep her close. 

“Will you come over tomorrow? Spend some time with Noah and me?”

“I’d love to.”

Olivia laid her hand on his chest. “Are you okay? Anthony said you didn’t seem like yourself.”

“I’m fine,” Rafael assured her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “I just didn’t want to be around a bunch of people tonight.”

“You’re still my best friend, you know. You always will be.”

“Ditto.”

“Talk to me, Rafa.”

Rafael sighed, pressing another kiss to the top of her head. “I was just hoping to spend some time with my best friend after an exhausting week.”

“I only have a couple of hours, but I’m here.”

“I’ll take it.”

* * *

The next morning, Olivia was trying to keep her son occupied while they waited for Rafael to come over. Earlier, she had told Noah that she had a surprise for him, but had so far been able to resist all of his attempts to find out what it was. 

“Already here?” he asked.

Olivia shook her head. “Not yet, sweet boy.”

Noah sighed and then went back to playing with his blocks while he tried to figure out what his surprise could be. When he heard a knock at the door a short while later, he looked over at his mother. “Surprise?” he asked.

“We’ll have to see,” Olivia replied as she walked towards the door. Recognizing the knock, she immediately opened the door, smiling when she saw Rafael standing there. “I like the casual look.”

Rafael glanced down at his sweatshirt, jeans, and tennis shoes, and then shrugged as he looked back up at her. “Thanks. I like yours, too.”

“Yoga pants and an old t-shirt?” Olivia asked with a laugh. 

“You look very relaxed.”

“I’ve been fielding questions all morning.”

Rafael chuckled and then leaned forward to press his lips to hers in a brief kiss. “You didn’t tell him?”

“I wanted it to be a surprise,” Olivia replied, stepping back to allow him into the apartment. “If you don’t mind entertaining him…”

“Of course not. Go, do whatever you need to do.  _ Mi amiguito _ and I will be fine.”

Olivia gave him another quick kiss before leading him into the living room. “Noah, look who’s here to see you.”

Noah looked up from his blocks and grinned at his mother’s companion.

“Uncle Rafa!” he said excitedly, quickly standing and running over to him. 

Rafael smiled as he scooped Noah up into his arms. He looked over at Olivia in surprise when the little boy wrapped his arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. 

“I told you-he missed you,” she told him.

Rafael returned Noah’s hug as he nodded. Pulling back, he regarded the little boy with a smile. “Do you want to build some more?”

“Story!”

“Okay,” Rafael agreed, walking with Noah to his room. “But no falling asleep.”

Hearing her son’s answering giggles, Olivia smiled as she walked past them to her room. She was already certain that a relationship with Rafael was going to work. He was her best friend and Noah adored him. Having him with them just felt  _ right _ . 


	5. Rafa's Return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This idea was inspired by the scene in 19x6 Gone Baby Gone where Rafael arrives at Olivia's door and they talk for a few minutes alone. This is a short fix for the episode that shall not be named. Forever #missingbarba. 
> 
> Special thanks to Sandra for double-checking my Spanish ❤

* * *

Standing outside of Olivia’s apartment door, Rafael took a deep breath before raising his hand to knock. When she answered the door, he realized that they were both wearing the same outfits they had worn the day she had had the squad over to celebrate Noah being rescued after he was kidnapped by his biological grandmother. She looked just as exhausted now as she did then. 

“Rafa?” she asked, clearly confused by his presence at her door. “What are you doing here?”

“I was sitting at home thinking about what the hell I’m going to do with my life now that I’m no longer an ADA and the only thing I was sure about was that I want you and Noah in it. I briefly considered selling my apartment and running away, but that reminded me too much of my father. Instead of dealing with his problems, he drank to get away from them. I didn’t want to go down that path. I always felt I was more Diaz than Barba and Diazs don’t run away. They don’t give up.”

Olivia sighed. Usually she loved listening to him talk, but she was exhausted and just wanted to curl up in a ball and sleep. “Rafa, I’m tired. Just get to the point.”

Rafael reached out and took her hand, clearly surprising her. But she didn’t pull it away. “I never should have walked away from you. I feel like my life has gone to pieces...and I realized that I can’t pick them up alone. You’re my best friend, Liv. I can’t imagine my life without you  _ or _ Noah. I love you. Both of you.”

Olivia felt tears well in her eyes as Rafael spoke. This was what she wanted him to say outside the courthouse earlier that day. “We love you, too, Rafa,” she said softly before wrapping her arms around his waist and hugging him tightly, resting her head against his shoulder as they held each other.

“Is Noah here?” Rafael asked when Olivia pulled back. 

“He’s with Amanda. He should be back soon. He’ll be so happy you’re here.”

“Are you?”

Olivia reached up to frame Rafael 's face with her hands. “ _ Sí, mi amor, estoy muy feliz de que estés aquí _ ,” she said before pressing her lips to his. 

“ _ Te amo. Tanto _ ,” Rafael said softly when they broke apart.

“I will miss having you by my side at work, but having you by my side at home is going to be  _ so  _ much better.”

“Noah and I will  _ always _ believe in you,  _ mi amor _ . Although I hope you won’t be too mad at me for making you adjust with one less detective.”

Olivia looked confused for a moment before she realized what he meant. “Carisi got the job?”

Rafael shrugged. “I don’t know for sure, but I gave McCoy a letter of recommendation for him. I figured who better to take my place than someone I mentored myself...and who is already familiar with SVU. The decision is still ultimately McCoy’s, but I couldn’t leave without doing what I could to make sure  _ he _ didn’t do something stupid like hire  _ Stone _ to take my place.”

Olivia laughed as she hugged him tightly before taking his hand and leading him into the apartment. They cuddled together on the couch under Olivia’s favorite blanket. 

“Not going to hog the blanket tonight?” he teased as she laid her head on his shoulder.

“I only did that so you would be forced to sit closer to me,” Olivia confessed softly.

Rafael chuckled, hugging her tightly to him. “I  _ knew _ there was an ulterior motive.”

Olivia simply smiled as she wrapped her arms around him. “You’re stuck with me now. And Noah.”

“I think I can live with that.”

* * *

A couple of hours later, as Olivia was helping him take off his backpack and coat, Noah noticed a familiar pair of shoes by the door. 

“Uncle Rafa is here?” he asked with wide eyes. 

“He is,” Olivia confirmed with a smile. “He missed us, so he came to see us.”

Noah grinned, quickly toeing off his shoes and then running into the living room. When he saw his favorite surrogate uncle, he grinned and jumped onto the couch next to him.

“Careful,  _ amigo _ ,” Rafael cautioned with a laugh as he hugged the little boy. 

“You’ve been gone a long time, Uncle Rafa,” Noah said softly. “I missed you.”

Rafel hugged him again. “I missed you, too,  _ amigo _ . I had to take care of some things, but I promise I’ll be around a lot more now.”

“Will you read me a story tonight?”

“Of course. I heard you have some new ones that we haven’t read yet.”

Noah grinned and nodded. “Mommy let me pick them out at the book fair.”

“I loved book fairs when I was a kid.”

“Really?”

Rafael smiled and nodded. “My mami is a teacher, so we always had lots of books around. The book fair always had the best ones, though.”

“Can we read  _ all _ of my new books?” Noah asked excitedly.

“That might be a lot for one night,  _ amigo _ ,” Rafael answered, eliciting a laugh from the little boy.

* * *

Later that night, after Noah was asleep, Olivia curled up with Rafael on the couch once more. 

“Can you stay the night?” she asked as she settled her head on his shoulder.

“Yes,” Rafael immediately answered. “That won’t upset Noah?”

“No. He’ll be thrilled to see you in the morning before he goes to school.”

Rafael studied her carefully. He could tell something was still bothering her. “What’s wrong,  _ mi amor _ ?”

Olivia sighed and cuddled closer to Rafael. “I’ve been thinking about moving.”

“Moving where?”

“I don’t know, that’s the thing,” Olivia confessed with another sigh. “Somewhere with better security? After everything with Sheila, I just feel like staying here isn’t an option.”

“At the risk of sounding presumptuous, you and Noah could move in with me,” Rafael suggested, quickly launching into the reasons why she should consider it. “My building has a doorman and better security in general. Plus, the staff already knows you  _ and _ Noah.”

“Maybe Noah and I could stay with you for a few days? See how it goes?”

“Of course. Pack some bags and I’ll bring them over whenever you’re ready. Then I can pick Noah up from school and you can meet us there when you’re done with work.”

“Lucy will need a key, too.”

“I’ll get a couple of extras made, so Noah can have a key of his own, too.”

“He’ll like that.”

Rafael pressed a kiss to her temple and then stood, taking her hand and tugging her to her feet. “We should get some sleep,  _ mi amor _ . It’s been a long day.”

* * *

The next day, while Noah was at school and Olivia was at work, Rafael decided to go see his mother. He knew she had taken some days off to take care of some things at home and he was hoping she wouldn’t shut the door in his face. Much as he had the previous night at Olivia’s, Rafael took a deep breath before raising his hand to knock on the door. When Lucia answered the door, she looked surprised to see him. 

“Rafi, what are you doing here?”

“We need to talk, Mami.”

Lucia nodded, stepping back to allow her son to enter the house. Once he had taken his coat off, she enveloped him in a tight hug. 

“I was so afraid for you,” she said softly. 

“I’m okay, Mami,” Rafael replied as he returned her hug. “I wish I could go back in time and change what I did, but I can’t.”

Lucia pulled back and framed her son’s face in her hands. “I know,  _ mijo _ . I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you.”

“I’d bring  _ Abuelita _ back, too, if I could.”

“Oh,  _ mijo _ ,” Lucia said as a fresh wave of sadness hit her. “She may not physically be here, but I  _ know _ she’s watching over you.”

“I’ll never be a judge like she dreamed.”

“Your  _ abuelita _ loved you so much. When you got the scholarship to Harvard, I think she told the whole building. You’ve accomplished so much, done so much good. She was proud of you and just wanted you to be happy. She never wanted you to give up on your dreams.”

“I almost lost you and I almost lost Liv. She’s forgiven me and I came here today to ask for your forgiveness as well.”

Lucia hugged him again, holding on a little longer than normal before pulling back to look at him. “You don’t need to ask for my forgiveness,  _ mijo _ . You did what you thought was right. I just wish you had come to me or gone to Father Sanchez or a therapist or  _ someone _ .”

“I didn’t want to admit that I was struggling.”

“I know.”

“I resigned from the DA’s office.”

“What? Why?”

“I couldn’t stay, Mami. A lot of people don’t agree with what I did and I lost their respect. I also couldn’t work for someone who decided to prosecute me.”

“They didn’t disbar you, then?”

Rafael shook his head. “Thankfully, no. I’ve been thinking about my next steps, but haven’t decided on anything. Liv thinks I’d make an excellent teacher.”

“I agree. But I might be a little biased toward the profession.”

Rafael chuckled. “I learned from the best.”

Lucia smiled at him and then leaned to press a kiss to his cheek. “Would you like to have lunch with me? You can tell me more about your Olivia.”

“I’d love to.”


End file.
